Uncommon habits of Super performing parents Part-1

I have never met a single parent, who has followed the rat race or just a strict disciplined routine and has raised exceptionally successful children. Over the last 15 years of working with thousands of parents and children and reading hundreds of research papers, I have observed certain patterns and uncommon habits that parents of super performing children have followed. Sharing these in a 4 part series, for all curious and enthusiastic parents to try implementing to see the impact.

1. Value children’s time as much as your own.

Just as professionals or entrepreneurs, we value our time (Clock) as worthy as money; when we start perceiving our little ones' time (even if they are just 4 yrs old) as valuable, we would be more intentional about planning their time well. No more screen time would be given just because you have some other work or place to go, no more random activity classes because the young ones have nothing to do in the evenings.

Lets understand that time is the only finite resource we have, and when invested well, the impact of that well utilised time only compounds over time. There is no overnight success. It is those 10 mins of reading time or 1 hour of consistent sports time that made someone remarkable. The bigger truth: When we value children’s time, they will grow up as adults who value their time.

2. Model and make habits crazy attractive

A man is a product of his habits. While willpower may come and go as waves in life, sticky habits built since childhood last a lifetime. Super parents understand this and model and make important habits crazy attractive for their children. When habits seem to be fun and cool, children want to do it and are self-motivated to stick to them. 

A famous psychologist made 5am wake up time super fun by playing music and games with children first thing in the morning for a year at a stretch and slowly that habit and time changed to self-study and planning as the children got older. Hidden Advantage: No more shouting, nagging or preaching for making children follow good habits. Make the habits attractive

3. Let children practice failure

Most parents find parenting stressful not because of managing things but because subconsciously we do want our children to fail. Of Course, we do not want children to fail in the larger areas of life like finding a job, or finding meaning in life. But the mindset and muscle to deal with reality comes from the experience of having learnt to deal with small failures very often while growing up in a non-judgmental way.

Eg. like a debate competition, in sports, in a class test they didn't prepare well for, in a project presentation. They may not do well then but letting them just know how they can do better without terming it as Failure Taboo makes children strong and resilient to face larger challenges of life in their stride. 

4. No personal mobiles and zero to minimal screen time

While its rampant usage has made screen time for kids as very normal and 99% parents find it difficult to follow, the real truth is screens/ mobiles/TVs are not just taking away our children’s childhood but their brain development for a lifetime. Even tech giants like Elon Musk and Bill Gates have followed it. The best scenario: no screen time before age 3, movies till age 5-6 and personal mobiles till age 13-15. 

While the impact on the brain is significant, the larger advantage in life is in the alternative usage of time instead of the screen. Meal time for toddlers becomes book reading time, binge watching becomes outdoor play time, family movie time becomes treks or board games time. Just like success is not meant to be easy but worth it, this habit may not seem convenient, but it's worth the effort.

5. Involve children in your work

The strongest link why the TATA family has been associated with trust over generations is because each generation saw very closely the values and business philosophies their parents and elders followed. Super parents do not treat their children like incapable babies, rather they consider them capable of understanding them, talk to them about it, let them observe the challenges and wins, the negotiations and the skills required to make things work.

As they get older, they ask them for their ideas and feedback. What does this really do? Many invaluable things: Makes children feel capable and confident about themselves, get a realistic understanding of the real world, build the muscle and mindset of resilience and value their parents' efforts. 

Are you motivated to try implementing these habits in your parenting? Share and tag Pranjal_Gundesha on Instagram for a shout out and more such insights.